Dec 282016
 
Play

With the decapitated head of an angry desert goddess in tow, Walter, T’mek, Fenfaril and Baldwin set about the somewhat difficult task of escaping from her sinking temple with their lives. With corridors collapsing at their backs, they will find themselves faced with the deadly test used by the Wrapped Priests to measure a mortal’s sins, a test which will almost certainly kill them for their transgressions. Once they reach the lowest level of the temple, they’ll have to navigate a treacherous maze full of monsters and lie their way past a contingent of the goddess’ holy priestesses in order to reach safety on the banks of the subterranean Buhbz River. Will these desperate adventurers ever see the light of day again, or will Tharc have her vengeance on them at last? And what the hell does Goat Lief mean, anyway? Find out, on this week’s installment of Fate’s Fools!

Continue reading »

Dec 212016
 
Play

Walter, T’Mek, Fenfaril and Baldwin are still trapped in Tharc’s temple, which is rapidly sinking and collapsing around them. In order to escape the desert goddess’ wrath, they’ll have to descend to the temple’s lowest level, a dangerous, monster-haunted maze reserved for only the most vile sinners. However, before they can save themselves from certain death by live burial under hundreds of tons of sand and stone, they’ll need to make a little stop at the Tomb of Tharc so that Walter can fulfill the depraved wishes of his awful god Yntos. Along the way, they’ll meet some new (and short-lived) allies, discover the true secret of Asala Ilu’s enchantment magic, and make the giant corpse of a goddess a couple of feet shorter using nothing but their wits and a hacksaw. Will Tharc stand for this insult? Can Walter and friends find an exit before it’s too late? Will T’Mek’s crippling insecurity drive the group apart? Listen to find out!

Continue reading »

Dec 142016
 
Play

Ruby, Dourla and Ryder unite with some newfound friends to hunt for another Demiurge artifact in the perilous world of Umdaar! This week, another of Ruby’s visions leads them to the Mediocre Coast, where they discover a lovely resort town known as Meh. There, they meet Sir Reginald Blake, a mutant psychic whose third eye sees unknowable secrets, and his traveling companion, Charlemagne, a cytyr–half-robot, half-baboon. Together, they decide to summon the sky-carriage that climbs the silver pillar at the center of town, hoping that the artifact they seek is located somewhere in the skylands above. However, before they can claim it, they’ll have to face the formidable beast, Ela-Vator, negotiate with a lusty fish-person, and survive within a deadly thunderstorm. Was Ruby’s vision of the artifact accurate? Will the Archaeonauts survive their climb to the heavens? Just how versatile is the sex doll programming in Dourla’s cybernetic helmet? Find out, in our latest episode of Masters of Umdaar!

Dec 072016
 
Play

After taking refuge from the sandstorm in the temple of the angry desert goddess Tharc, Walter, T’mek and Baldwin realize that it was probably a terrible idea when the doors slam shut behind them and the entire building begins sinking into the sand. Now, they have nowhere to go but down, into the labyrinthine corridors of Tharc’s previous temples, all of which were reclaimed by Her divine desert. If they want to escape being crushed in collapsing rooms, buried alive in sand, stabbed by the holy wrapped priests who are also trapped with them, or any number of other gruesome fates, they’ll have to discover a way out before Tharc’s wrath catches up with them. Fenfaril, an elfin wizard who was recently expelled from The WAHA! College of Magic & Dramatic Arts in Asala Ilu, will join them on their quest after waking up from a days-long bender in the vengeful clutches of the holy monks. Can Walter and friends find an exit before the temple is completely destroyed? Listen to find out!

Continue reading »