Oct 182011

People often refer to Comic-Con as Line-Con, and anybody who attends the convention understands why. This Saturday, I was in the middle of the con’s worst one. So after the break let me tell you my experience in The Line From Hell.

On Saturday, two of the biggest panels were happening: The Walking Dead and The Avengers. Both panels were being held back-to-back in the IGN Theater. Comic Con does not clear out the attendees after the panels. So theoretically, somebody can stay in the theater all day and never have to leave. Armed with this knowledge, I decided to get on line two hours before The Walking Dead panel, which was the first of the two, started

When I got to the line there were already a ton of people waiting. But I felt confident that I could get into the theater at some point because there was still two panels — Nikita and a Sony panel — that still needed to happen before  The Walking Dead.

But as confident as I was, I still was not having fun being on the line. First off, where the line was queued so happened to be the same place I spent over an hour of my life the previous night waiting to get into the Jay and Silent Bob Get Old podcast. So I started to have flashbacks of how the incompetent staff fucked up that line, and I was sure this one was going to be no different.

And of course, I was right! People were cutting the line left and right and the staff was just allowing it to happen. I got hit by a pole that got knocked over by one of those assholes cutting the line and the person didn’t apologize for it. Instead he gave me a look like, “Hey. Aren’t you going to help me fix this?”

If only that was the low point of the night. But it wasn’t. Shit was just starting.

Looking back on the rest of the line as I rounded the last bend. There were many hopeful people waiting to have their dreams crushed.

After the Nikita panel, the line really moved and when it stopped I found myself at the last stretch. I was almost certain that I was going to make it in at some point.

In front of me in the line was a dude dressed up as Marty McFly. At 4:45, with the Sony panel ending soon, Marty saw a girl he knew. He started waving to her and making his hands form a heart to her — this was clearly a guy with a crush. I thought it was cute that he liked her. Then, however, he started to gesture to her that she should come over to him and cut the line. If she was cutting the line then Marty McFly was getting a fist to the face! He got the attention of a staff member and asked if his female friend could cut the line and of course the answer was, “No! You fucking moron!”I think that was a verbatim quote.

But then Marty did something that any foolish male would do for a girl he would like to sex up — something stupid. He left the line and went all the way back to the end of it to be with her. Later on I saw them again except this time she was getting close to some other guy as poor Marty McFly looked on behind them. Sorry Marty McFly, you got fucked over. But, thanks for your spot!

As I got closer to the theater, people were giving each other less room and the line started to resembled a mob. Everyone wanted to get in and we all knew that there would come a point where it was everyone for themselves.

At 5:52 pm I abandoned hope of getting into The Walking Dead. Chances of getting into The Avengers were also low, but I had hope. I had to have hope because I couldn’t handle the thought of not getting in after waiting for so long. I was so close to the front of the line. I was not leaving the line after getting this far.

Shit was getting progressively worse. Espeically at 6:30, when The Avengers was suppose to start. Everyone on the line wanted to get in, but we also really wanted to know if that was going to happen or not. But our questions fell on deaf ears so everyone just started pushing and cutting one another in a fight to the front of the line.

In the middle of the pushing and the fighting, when things were getting really nasty, an older couple started yelling at the staff that they had a baby in a carriage. Why did they bring a small child to the panel? Why were they risking its well being? I have no idea. But the staff got the carriage out of the line away from danger and then a couple of minutes later the older couple got to get into the theatre. I just couldn’t believe that this stupid couple endangered this child and then was rewarded for it. Plus now I’m jealous of a stupid baby!

At 7:10 pm, after much pushing I got to the front of the mob. People were getting picked in small groups, 3 or 4 at a time, to go into the theater. Looking around, I saw people who I knew were behind me get picked and it sucked. But I knew that I would be in the next group. I was there. I was getting in! After all this time waiting on line and fighting to get to the front I was going to see The Avengers panel!

And I wish I could say I did. But this story does not have a happy ending. All my hopes and excitement ended when the door to the theater was shut and the senior staff member waved his hands at us and said, “There’s no more room! That’s it!”


That was all I could think. Nerd rage crept in and it took me a long while before I cooled down. So close yet so far.

Comic Con is a cold, harsh mistress sometimes.


If you guys have any terrible stories from Comic-Con and you want to vent, let us know in the comments.

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