Hello one and all. It is I! TheEdCress! I have returned from a brief and unsatisfying trip into the world of Corporate America. I had to wear a uniform, and go to meetings, and eat lunch in my cubicle — this was not the life for me, nerd warriors.
(find out more about my failed attempt at a mature existence after the break)
So, my disappearance from the multi-medias of Rag-NERD-rok was no accident. No, fellow time travelers! I was snatched from the comfortable slacker nerds life with my part-time job at Target, my blog no one reads and my “writing” (that’s in quotes cause my writing is always something I mean to do, but never get around to) by the jaws of that grisly behemoth we all fear: adulthood.
Yes, friends, it’s a miracle I survived. What with the relocation to Brooklyn, the full-time, salaried job, the adoption of a puppy and the serious live-in girlfriend. But I am a nerd-warrior supreme and I faced that leviathan down and said NO! I shall not let a little thing like having to feed myself, my puppy, my girlfriend and pay rent keep me shackled to meaningless phone monkey work. My life will NOT be coffee in the staff kitchen making small talk with Neesha from HR. I will NOT be referred to, daily, as a member of “the best team on the planet.” And pop culture references like “Wonder Twin powers: activate!” belong to MY people, Mr. JZ of B&B. (Yes, the president of the company I worked for DID indeed use the phrase “Wonder Twin powers: activate!” as a motivational tool.) So don’t try to fool me into thinking you’re one of us! I know who you really are, sir!
So long story short, I got fired. Apparently being a slacker nerd doesn’t equal success in the world of telemarketing and Corporate America. So here I stand, a freelance writer/web designer/performer once again. Slightly broke, still in Brooklyn with the lady of my dreams, my puppy, bills to pay and no shortage of slacking to do. After all, I am the only Dragonborn around. No one else is fit to stop Alduin from destroying the world.
But there is a lesson and a silver lining and all that cliched crap to my there and back again tale. Do what you want to do, but actually fucking do it. It’s obvious corporate life was not for me, and me trying to be happy having a “real” job with cubicles and motivational speeches that come with Power Point presentations was just me playing a part for a little while. But it’s time that the curtain closes on that one and I go back to what made me famous in the first place: being a ne’er-do-well, layabout, pie in the sky, wide-eyed dreamer. But this time actually putting effort into the shit I want to do. So that being said, I have returned to my home, that is being a nerd, a friend, a boyfriend, a brother, a son, and a writer/performer — but this time with purpose.