After being tricked by an evil Master and teleported halfway across the realm, our intrepid Archaeonauts find themselves in a vast forest, surrounded by hostile gorilla people. Once captured, they meet with two fellow prisoners, an undead gentleman underwear thief and a tubular shark-person shaman. When their captors’ queen learns of their situation, she dispatches the team, newcomers in tow, to retrieve the fragments of a long-forgotten artifact that could help them defeat their enemy once and for all. Can the Archaeonauts battle their way through a sacred tomb in order to obtain the artifact? Will the queen discover that her royal panties have been pilfered by a dapper zombie? Is it better to be nourished forever with a vine growing into every bodily orifice, or suffer in the nether realms in eternal agony? Find out, in this week’s episode of Masters of Umdaar!
Following their adventure in the skylands, Ruby Gleam (Spell-Weaver Supreme), Dourla the Loveslug, Ryder the Last Battle Toad, Charlemagne the (newly) octopoid cytyr, and Sir Reginald meet a new companion, Sir Jorn, a secret mutant knight errant. On their journey inland, they come upon a group of refugee duck-people, displaced from their city when an evil sorceress and her golem servants chose it as the staging ground for her dark technomagical spells. Now, the brave group of Archaeonauts will have to infiltrate the village, avoid the notice of the patrolling constructs, and defeat the wicked mage before her working is complete. Can they pull it off, or is this noble quest more than they can handle?
It’s a simple job: go to the mall, break into the DMV and steal a bunch of shit for someone who needs it. The payout is pretty decent, too. Simple, right?
Well, nothing is simple in the Loss. It’s three legs from the enclave to the job site, and that’s plenty of time for shit to get cocked up and for someone to wind up dead. You’ll have to deal with greedy assholes who want to take what you’ve got and leave you for dead. And people who want in on your score, too. And the undead, of course.
And no one has been to this mall since the Crash. There’s probably a good reason for that. But as Takers, figuring shit like that out on the fly is all part of the job.
Join us as Rag-NERD-rok playtests the quick-start rules to “Red Markets,” and the players learn just how hard life can be west of the Recession.
Ruby, Dourla and Ryder unite with some newfound friends to hunt for another Demiurge artifact in the perilous world of Umdaar! This week, another of Ruby’s visions leads them to the Mediocre Coast, where they discover a lovely resort town known as Meh. There, they meet Sir Reginald Blake, a mutant psychic whose third eye sees unknowable secrets, and his traveling companion, Charlemagne, a cytyr–half-robot, half-baboon. Together, they decide to summon the sky-carriage that climbs the silver pillar at the center of town, hoping that the artifact they seek is located somewhere in the skylands above. However, before they can claim it, they’ll have to face the formidable beast, Ela-Vator, negotiate with a lusty fish-person, and survive within a deadly thunderstorm. Was Ruby’s vision of the artifact accurate? Will the Archaeonauts survive their climb to the heavens? Just how versatile is the sex doll programming in Dourla’s cybernetic helmet? Find out, in our latest episode of Masters of Umdaar!