When a Boston publisher discovers that one of his star authors is alive in The Loss, he dispatches The Missionaries to rescue her and bring her back to civilization. Unfortunately for them, the enclave in which she resides has based its entire society around her popular series of YA novels, the Immortal Eclipse cycle, and she has become its all-powerful Matriarch. Now, using UNIX’s extensive knowledge of the series, they’ll have to engineer a coup straight out of the story. Can they pull it off?
This week, the boys are back! The Crab Goddess needs some drums trucked across state lines, and she knows she can count on Marge’s Boys to get the job done. Except this time, they’re trucking their goods in their new rig, Big Boytha, and they’ve got the law hot on their shells. Can they get the goods and get back before their new gunner, a shifty hermit crab named Dirty Lyle who totally isn’t a cop, gets them all killed or arrested? These crab truckers are going to need every trick Boytha has, because it’s going to be a long, hard ride down from Crab Mountain.
In this week’s installment of Alex’s Red Markets campaign, The Missionaries are tasked with retrieving the original prints of the Star Wars films from George Lucas’ secluded woodland retreat. When they arrive at the job site, however, they find that the director’s home-away-from-home has been commandeered by a group of well-armed Archivists, who have turned it into a repository of artifacts from before The Crash. Can they find a way to get the priceless films they were sent to retrieve, or will this job involve an unpleasant amount of wetwork? Listen to find out!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year—a time of peace and purchasing, of caring and consumerism, a season for selling. However, in the sleepy little town of Lawson, something sinister lurks among the aisles and shelves of a big box store, hoping to disrupt the hallowed spirit of capitalist fervor that has filled the hearts of the locals. When a man turns up dead and his son goes missing, it will be up to four fearless hunters to track the creature to its lair and stop the holiday terror at its source. Can they pull off a yuletide miracle with just three shopping days left to go before Christmas? Listen to find out!
This week, we’re playing another fantastic one-page RPG by Grant Howitt.
Some cute woodland creatures live in harmony in the forest with their beloved witch. One day, they returned from an errand to her cottage to find that their witch had been FREAKING MURDERED by a FREAKING WITCH HUNTER.
But they can still save her! All the woodland creatures need to do is bring the eyes of the witch hunter back to the witch’s corpse within 24 hours and she can be revived! But that means going to town, where all the humans are. Can a fox, two birds and a tiny, completely useless spider come up with a plan to save the witch? And just how useful can a light spell be? Listen to find out!