funny – Page 38 – Rag-NERD-rok Podcast

Fiasco – “The Grass Is Always Greener”

Aug 032016

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For the heroes of Pinnacle City, every day is a new battle to defend their home from the forces of villainy, but retired hero Keith McCallister just wants to tend to his prize-winning sunflowers. (Sunflowers that he tends with his ability to control plants, that is.) In his spare time, Keith has been helping his neighbor, David, to master his power to spontaneously create and communicate with swarms of insects, despite David’s intimate connection with one of his old arch-nemeses. David’s mother, Dr. Francine Bright, is a “reformed” villainess and super scientist who now works for the government and quietly plots to take over the world with her army of super-powered clone children. However, when an ancient alien artifact is unearthed, it sets off a chain of events that will lead these three into a battle of wills the likes of which the world has never seen before. Will Dr. Bright finally beat that blasted Chloro-Master at his own game and achieve her dreams of world domination? Will David unlock his true potential as a hero, despite his tarnished origins? Find out, in this week’s Fiasco Actual Play!

Eclipse Phase – “Stray Thoughts 10: Breakfast At Tiffany’s”

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Jul 202016

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The Stray Thoughts team faces down its toughest challenge yet: the LeFleur family! When Bull learns that her forknapping father Armand has taken up residence on Venus in his own private aerostat, she convinces the team to accompany her on the revenge mission she’s been dying to undertake. The team decides to infiltrate by exploiting Esmeralda’s friendship with Tiffany Prime, and expose Armand’s crimes once and for all. However, it soon becomes clear that Armand and his daughter may be more prepared for a visit from Bull than any of them could have predicted. Can the team help Bull avenge her lost childhood, find a new identity, and finally move on from the devastating trauma that turned her into a murder machine? Find out, this week on Stray Thoughts!

Fiasco – “Friendly AI”

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Jul 132016

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We’re back, with a Fiasco inspired by Valve’s Portal series! At the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, the AI programmers are hard at work trying to bring their boss Cave Johnson’s dreams of digital immortality to life. Drs. Helena Carlyle and Phillip Reingold, two members of the elite team of GLaDOS programmers, are a bit out of sorts after their project’s first test activation took a potentially deadly turn. For unknown reasons, Helena has been tasked with trying to seduce the Materials Science Sphere, while Phil finds himself competing with Tape Dispenser 437, a robotic arm that was slowly upgraded and given sentience over the course of four decades, for his job as an AI programmer. Meanwhile, Mat and Aperture’s genius-level janitor Franklin are manufacturing a stockpile of deadly neurotoxin for…experimental purposes. When they begin to suspect that Tape-y has augmented itself to superhuman levels of intelligence, Helena and Phil rush to stop it from (maybe?) taking over the facility and (potentially?) ending human life as we know it. However, it soon becomes clear that Franklin harbors deep-rooted paternal feelings for the Aperture AIs, and that he’ll sink to threats, blackmail and possibly even murder to keep his robotic children safe. Can two scientists save The Enrichment Center (and everybody inside it) from techno-armageddon, or will their attempt turn into a complete Fiasco?

The Skeletons – “Tomb of the Slanted King”

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Jun 152016

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Four skeletons stand guard with undying vigilance over the tomb of their fallen monarch. Perhaps they served their king well in life, or perhaps this is a punishment; either way, they are doomed to keep watch until they turn to dust. When humans poke their fleshy noses into the king’s crypt, the magics that give these skeletal sentries some semblance of life compel them to give chase, and perhaps even to kill. As the years pass, as more intruders disturb the grave under their protection, the skeletons remember pieces of their former lives, reclaiming a fraction of who they once were. They also succumb to the ravages of time, losing what remains of their will, their bodies and their dignity. How long can a skeleton’s endless vigil possibly last?

Big Mutherlovin’ Crab Truckers – “Marge’s Boys”

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May 042016

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This is the story of three brothers—three big mutherfuckin’ crab trucker brothers, that is. When the great Crab Goddess deigns to give these unworthy assholes a mission, they hop in Large Marge, their big mutherfuckin’ truck, and hit the rickety mutherfuckin’ road. They’ve been charged with the holy mutherfuckin’ quest of hauling a metric assload of acorns across state lines, for purposes so ineffable and mutherfuckin’ divine that three pathetic, soft-shelled mutherfuckin’ mortals dare not question them. Their path is beset by all sorts of pains in the mutherfuckin’ ass, like lobster raiders, impotence and mutherfuckin’ crab depression, and even the most horrifying thing of all, humans. Can this crew of crab truckers bring the acorns home for their goddess? Will they make the run in time? Can they find a back alley surgeon who will sew a lobster’s penis onto a castrated crab? Listen up, mutherfuckers, and find out!

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